This is a guest post from my very talented sister Rachel, who is about to be licensed as a psychologist. Thanks for the great article & the important info, sis!
So, let’s face it: it’s the end of what’s been a long year with many ups and downs, struggles, rewards, and so many emotions to go along with it. By now most of us are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and in desperate need of some time off. Just to make our stress more overpowering, the holidays are coming up. As exciting as this may sound, for many people it means that the holiday blues are well on their way.
The holiday blues cause quite a struggle; this is the time of year to be happy and joyful… everyone else seems to feel that way, so what’s wrong with me? As difficult as it may be to believe, many people suffer from depression, especially during the holiday season when everyone seems cheerful. It’s not an issue people will usually be open to expressing.
Why do we get depressed during the holiday season?
1. Exhaustion
There can be many factors causing this depression to resurface. As I mentioned earlier, we can feel exhausted when the year is coming to an end because of all the emotions we’ve experienced throughout it, as well as work stress and fatigue. Add the stress of preparing for the holidays and the feeling of exhaustion will intensify. Over-drinking and overeating, which are very common during the holidays, may be influencing our mental state as well.
2. Idealization
As a society, we tend to idealize the holidays, expecting things to go perfectly, when in fact, things usually don’t. I always say it’s best not to have expectations; when the expectations are there, it’s very unlikely that the reality will meet the standards of our fantasy, leading to disappointment. On the other hand, not having expectations can lead to many surprises, hopefully, some wonderful ones.
3. Finances
One of the big factors that may be inducing stress and depression is the economic one. Unfortunately, people are expected to spend incredible amounts to create the perfect holiday for their loved ones, but this isn’t always financially accessible to us. We may feel disillusioned, frustrated, or even upset with ourselves because again, we have not reached our expectations due to economical limitations. If we let go of these negative feelings and restraints, we can forget the commercial part of the holidays and remember that the essence of it is to share these moments with our loved ones.
4. Family
It might not always be easy to get along with our loved ones. Relating to family members could cause anxiety during the holidays. It’s best to declare an amnesty when it comes to family members for whom you’ve had past resentments. Let it all be for the well-being of your mind and health.
[note note_color=”#E0E9FD”]
This holiday try something different
The best thing to do when feeling depressed during this time of the year is to give yourself some time to relax, lower your expectations and forgive yourself for not being able to plan the holiday you wanted. If the feeling gets overwhelming, please remember to ask for help, sometimes depression can be too overwhelming for one person to handle on their own.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS![/note]
Thanks to freepik for the featured image
I think there are many people who feel this way during the holidays. Although not depressed, I am sad that this will be the first Christmas without my dad 🙁 I know it is much harder for my mom.
Aw, I’m sorry. 🙁 It’s always a difficult thing. I wish you strength xoxo
I don’t know if I would classify myself as getting depressed by the holidays as much as I would say I get exasperated or overwhelmed. I shop & wrap all before December 1st, so that helps alleviate a lot of pressure and helps my wallet, too.
Great post, Rachel! Thank you so much for writing for us!
This is such an excellent, “real” post. I think that with the rise of social media, #2 is true for so many people this year. Looking at other people’s seemingly perfect lives on Instagram and Facebook is sometimes depressing when you feel like things are less than perfect in your own life. It’s so important to remember that people only post photos and status updates that present them as how they want to be perceived. Everyone hurts and experiences disappointment sometimes, so you are no different if you feel that way!
hahaha this is what I tell my sis all the time. She has a few people on facebook that she hates bc of the ‘perfect’ life they live. We don’t know what’s going on in the background!
A well written and very timely post for many. I think we all expect too much of ourselves and while it is good to keep trying it is not so good to try and keep up with everyone else. Be the best you can be–enjoy life the way you want to enjoy it–relax and know that you have done the very best in the ways you know how!
Last year I was so down around the holidays. This year I told myself to enjoy the holidays for what they are and not to worry so much about what I did or didn’t have.
Yes, there are just things that makes us feel that way – so we should all think how to enjoy the holidays. As much as possible, I really want to enjoy the holidays this year. let it be a blast, hihi!
I am not the norm but really dislike the holiday season. But with all seasons in life it is so important to not have too many preconceived ideas because life rarely turns out exactly as we have planned.
I think spending does have the potential to bring on depression…and the overriding desire to make everything ‘just right.’
This is a great post. I am not really in the holiday spirit this year because I have just become a single mom so my life is really hectic. Usually, the holiday time is joyous for me and stress free but this year it has just been a mess and full of depression.
Great post with good info.!
I think my finances do play a huge roll in my stresses!
A lot of people miss lost loved ones this time of year, I miss my dad a lot this time of year. When he was alive our family would all get together and while I do not miss the rest of my family because they were down right cruel so I no longer associate with them. I do miss my dad and wish he were still here to spend the holidays with. People think you are crazy if you are not happy at this time of year, but it is not easy for everyone and many I know are not but will not admit it.
*hug*
This is really a nice ost from you.Anyway I love to add heath into this list,as having poor health even sometimes make depression.
I so have the holiday blues!! It’s very stressful around here now and I needed to get some tips on it-thanks!
I have the holiday blues I always find myself hit such a low around boxing day :/ I’m not sure what sets mine off probably a mix of it all *sighs*
I always get stressed around the holidays. Thanks for the helpful post.
Oh you totally hit it on the head! Tired, idealized, stress, and finances all contributed to my frustration this holiday. I started to relax, get more sleep and not stress so much and it has really helped me to begin to feel quite a bit better about the Holiday this year.
Very good summary of what happens to our psyche at Christmas. A few years ago I decided to just stop it all and now sometimes I pretty much get nothing extra done at the holidays. But my kids are home and I love the time we have to spend together.
Nice. So many people get caught up with the small details that we forget to care for ourselves. I think if we take more me time, we might be happier and more productive.
Great list! My husband gets a little down near the holidays, because it makes him really miss his father who passed away.
I think many times we get caught up in the way the holidays were when we were younger and we try an recapture that. Of course, most of us would just be setting ourselves up to fail by doing so. I think lowering your expectations is so important and just going with the flow.
Oh boy, the family thing is so stressful sometimes and trying to divide the time between everybody….eeks!
I’m definitely dealing with a bad case of the holiday blues/grief. My mom passed away in May so this is going to be the first Christmas without her. It’s definitely been difficult. I’m more emotional and moody.
I’m sorry, Courtney. *hug*
Thank you, Ronnie. <3
I don’t feel stressed right now but great list!
I know right now I am a little more sad that normal, but I am away from my family for the first time. I blame it on that. This is a great post on why people are getting sad though.
Stay strong! It’s always tough at first.. I’ve been away from home for years.. u do what you must. xoxo
I thought it was the dark and dreary weather. During the summer I’m always happy because it is always so bright, but during the winter I don’t feel as happy. I chalked it up to the season but you made some great points. 🙂
These are very great points. A lot of people put far too much money and idealization into holiday perfection. And many people’s expectations are far too high. We tend to put a lot of stress on ourselves.
How nice of your sister to guest post! It’s great to get her insight as a psychologist. I tend to get a little down around the holidays, because we don’t have the money to travel, and all my family lives so far away. It’s hard to see photos of all their celebrations on Facebook, knowing that I can’t be there!
I forced her, mostly. hahahaha 😀 Yeah, but it was very nice of her. She said she will contribute more! She also lives very far away from me, as does most of my family. Thanks to the internet we stay in touch though. 🙂
Great post. This holiday year is hard for us. My grandmother had a hip replacement a couple of days ago.